sahrnia | ( voicetest ) diego hargreeves ; the umbrella academy

[ klaus spends so much of his time in a drug haze that diego honestly wouldn't have guessed he paid attention to much of anything! ]

hold up. what do you mean more often? have you stolen from me?

[ it's not spandex, it's leather! spandex offers literally no protect in a fight.

and by the way? knives save lives ]

[Everyone knows that as long as you're high when you remember things from when you were high last time, it works perfectly.]

i can't believe you would make such a baseless accusation of me out of left field like that, Diego

[Who hasn't he stolen from? He figures he's probably fine even if he's stolen from Diego, just as long as Diego doesn't find out he's stolen from mom.

Like you don't have to wear spandex under the leather to reduce chafing.]

[ ah yes of course how silly of him to think otherwise! tho to be fair, diego doesn't really see any indication of klaus paying attention. of course it could be that diego, himself, isn't really taking notice of these sorts of things... ]

baseless? bullshit! you basically just admitted that you stole from me. what else did you steal besides my cell phone?

[ truth be told, diego will get over klaus stealing from him. he won't be happy about it and will try to get it to stop, but he'll get over it. stealing from mom though is a line you don't cross ]

[Diego, not pay attention to something? Like, for example, whether the front door of somewhere is open or not before he bashes through the window of the place? Sounds fake.]

to be fair, i at least put the phone back when i was done

[Just ignore any texts from his dealer.]

and nothing you missed, obviously, if you didn't notice

[ who checks the front door of the house they're going to break in to unless they're looking into lockpicking their way inside or something?

also who leaves their door unlocked when they leave home?? ]

oh well that's fine then. as long as you put my cell phone back and only take shit that you think i won't notice. in that case, keep stealing my stuff!

[ texts from his dealer, you say. well isn't diego having access to klaus' dealer interesting... ]

[Bold of you to assume he only has one dealer, Diego.

But also ... fair.]

Right, that's what I figured. Thanks for the blessing, though! :)

[ that's probably true. even if he did only have one dealer, klaus'd probably just find another.

at least it would be one less scumbag out there poisoning his brother, though ]

no. no no no. that is NOT me giving you my blessing. you DON'T steal from your family. got it?

What if it's technically dad's shit?

I mean, he's not going to use it AND he was horrible.

[Is he skirting the issue? Absolutely. He knows he ought not to steal from family, but sometimes things became ... desperate.]

dad treated us and mom like shit. i don't care what happens to his stuff.

besides, you're the one who'd have to deal with him.

[ and it's only after the message is gone that he realizes he just gave klaus permission to sell dad's stuff for drug money.

reading before sending angry texts just isn't an option sometimes ]

Exactly, so it only makes sense that I take both the risks AND the benefits of the situation.

I wish you were this agreeable ALL the time, Diego.

shut up. you know i wasn't trying to be agreeable. there are no benefits. don't you ever listen to anything any of us say to you?

Incorrect, Diego.

Making money? Benefit. Making dad miserable from beyond the grave? Benefit.

Besides, since when do you lot listen to anything I say to you?

[He's the one who found Vanya, remember?]

making money to fund your drug addiction? not exactly a benefit. and okay i agree that pissing off dad is a benefit, but you know he could make you miserable too.

we listen when you say something useful.

[ okay, good point ]

Look, it's -- therapeutic. And I'm --slowing down.

[Not stopping, because stopping is -- hard, impossible, but at least he's trying not to hit the really heinous stuff.]

And how many times do you think you missed out on important information because you didn't think it was useful?

[ okay, diego can understand how that might therapeutic to get that one last dig in at dad, but the rest of it, the drugs... he appreciates the idea of klaus slowing down but he can do better ]

how many times? none. i always listen when you have useful things to say. it just doesn't happen that often.

[Asking him to get off the weed? That's probably not going to happen.]

Mm. According to you.

[ a guy can dream though, right? he can dream that someday his brother will actually be completely clean ]

yeah, according to me!

okay, name one time i didn't.

Edited 2019-03-20 03:38 (UTC)

That time when we were ten and you were trying to make like, smoke bombs and you didn't trust that using string instead of toilet paper was gonna make a better fuse

And then you totally smoked yourself out

But that was hilarious so I guess I forgive you.

[ sometimes, klaus' memories of events actually astounds him. given the shit that he's put in his body between now and then, diego would have figured thinking back 20 years might not be quite so easy ]

if i was just able to get the toilet paper rolled up a lot tighter, and if i could've made it stay that tight, everything would've been fine. it would've worked just as well as your stupid string.

oh good. your forgiveness make it feel like the wait of the world's been lifted off my shoulders.

[Look, it isn't like he hasn't tried to erase most of their childhood from his mind. It just stubbornly sticks around.]

Another classic example of 'you work too hard for too little reward', Diego.

I knew it. Well, I do what I can.

[ most of them have likely tried to erase much of their childhood in some way or another. some things are just really hard to erase ]

well, the smoke bombs worked in the end, didn't they? [ well, they worked on him at least. that's certainly a memory that's with him for life. turns out you don't really forget smoke bombing yourself ] right amount of work for the right amount of reward.

anyway, bad example. we were kids. who the hell listens to anyone when you're a kid? [ except listening to dad. but that one's sort of a given, isn't it? ]

Don't be a jackass, we all used to listen to each other at least a little bit

Then we just kind of forgot how

[Or got too traumatized by their father to really be able to support their own mental health, let alone each other's. It'd gotten ... messy.]

( voicetest ) diego hargreeves ; the umbrella academy

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that icon tho why would you hurt me like this??

look if I have to suffer so does everyone else